Master of Pemberley, Servant of God
by Laina Lee
Summary: In honor of Easter, and He who rose on the 3rd day, what was to be a one-shot on how the Bible inspired Darcy's change, has now become a two-shot which covers the beginning of Mr. and Mrs. Darcy's marriage.
1. Chapter 1

**Master of Pemberley, Servant of God**

Although it was about a month before Christmas, Darcy was thinking about the Christ child and his humble origins. Why was it that he could worship a Lord and Savior who was born in a manger to peasants, worshiped by likely smelly shepherds, but he could not marry a winsome lass born to a country gentleman? He was also thinking about gifts. The gift Darcy wanted most of all was to live his life with a wife who laughed and teased, who debated and questioned, who had fine eyes that seemed to look into his soul. Yet duty lay elsewhere. In stubbornness akin to Jonah's, Darcy ran away.

On Easter Darcy attended church with his Aunt Catherine and Cousin Anne. He felt all the irony that his attempt to flee from Miss Elizabeth ended with God delivering him to her. The pastor was preaching about how Christ's resurrection changed the apostles, made Peter (who denied Christ three times) brave. Darcy wondered if he, too, could be brave and seek after what he wanted most. Perhaps Miss Elizabeth was the pearl of great price; what would he not give up for her?

Miss Elizabeth had rejected him. After Darcy was alone in his room at Rosings, he allowed himself to feel all the pain of being denied what he desired most. He thought about how Christ had asked God to take away the cup, to find another way besides his death. And yet God had not spared his son. Darcy knew that Elizabeth's denial was a small blow compared to the suffering that Christ endured on the cross (both physical and mental when God turned his back on him). The pain Darcy felt was overwhelming, crushing. He could barely breathe; how much worse must Christ have suffered to take on all the sin of the world?

Darcy finally understood that his own pride, vanity, and arrogance had led to his downfall. Darcy resolved to change himself for the better, to attend to Miss Elizabeth's reproofs. He felt he had been like Saul, ready to stone others for not living up to his ideals. Miss Elizabeth's words had struck him blind, and when his eyes were once again clear, he was a new creation. He resolved to live as he ought, as a Paul, rather than under the blinders of his pride.

Months went by, with nothing to quench his thirst. Where was the living water when he needed it? But then having just arrived at Pemberley, he saw Miss Elizabeth walking outside at his estate. Before she appeared he felt that he had been condemned to wander forty years in the desert, and yet suddenly here before him was the promised land. He vowed to prove himself worthy of it, to show that he had remedied his mistakes. Where before he thought Miss Elizabeth was not worthy of him, now he knew he was not worthy of her. He resolved to labor as long as it took to earn her hand, much as Jacob had labored for Rachel.

Once again Darcy was betrayed by the man who was his brother, the Cain to his Abel. Although Wickham was no murderer (though Darcy supposed he had committed murder in his heart many times), Wickham was always jealous, bitter and angry at what Darcy had. Darcy knew Wickham was one of the wicked who prospered, he knew that even if men did not see his sin that God saw all and in the end there would be much weeping and gnashing of teeth for him in Hell. If Jesus could humble himself to wash the feet of Judas, knowing that Judas would betray him for thirty pieces of silver, it was a small thing to seek out Wickham and pay him to do the right thing by Miss Lydia.

Darcy finally knew what it was to love. Love meant sacrifice, even laying down his own life if needed. He knew the love he bore for Miss Elizabeth had changed him, made him patient, kind, and taken away his pride. It was only when he learned humility (from her well-deserved reproofs) that he had learned wisdom. Miss Elizabeth was more precious than rubies. He knew that Miss Elizabeth also knew what love was when she told him that she would keep no record of his past wrongs. Although they were both flawed (no one was perfect but God, after all), Darcy knew that the love they bore for each other could cover a multitude of sins. He resolved to be more humble, more thoughtful, to seek to understand and serve his fellow man, to be the man his heavenly Father created him to be (rather than just the man born to be Master of Pemberley). Darcy found proof of the God's existence and love for him in the way all things in his life had worked to unite him with Miss Elizabeth. He found comfort in the knowledge that God had provided Miss Elizabeth as his helpmate. Darcy rejoiced that God had deigned not just to leave him to his ignorance but to change him for the better. He knew with all his mind and heart that he could not help but be improved by becoming one flesh with Miss Elizabeth.


	2. Chapter 2

Darcy thought he had known what love was about before he married Miss Elizabeth, for she had ravished his heart with a love that was better than wine. But in each vow he spoke he saw how far he still had to come. He remembered how marriage was to be a picture of the gospel, with Christ the bridegroom and the church the bride and how he was to love his bride to the point of sacrificing his very life for her. He wondered how even given how he had changed, how he could ever approach such an ideal of sacrifice.

Later, when they left their wedding breakfast at Longbourn and traveled towards his home, he realized how much Elizabeth had sacrificed for him. As the husband, he was to leave his family and cleave to her, but it was Elizabeth who was leaving all that was dear to her, as Ruth had followed Naomi, and in doing so was placing her life in his hands, submitting herself to him. He was amazed at how much she trusted him, though he knew he was in many respects a selfish being who would disappoint her despite his best intentions and the progress he had made.

That evening, after they became one flesh in fact, Darcy rejoiced in how wondrous it was to give of themselves to each other and that marriage was ordained for such a purpose. He also rejoiced that now he had a true helpmate and would never ever be alone again.

Later that night Darcy woke up. He felt supremely content and wondered at the fact that he was unable to immediately return to sleep after having gained his deepest heart's desire. Darcy inched a little closer to his wife, his beloved, the one whose breasts he could now lie betwixt. Although he desired her still, he resolved that he would not awake his love until she pleased. Therefore, he only placed his arm around her.

While waiting for sleep to claim him once again or for Elizabeth to awake, he wondered how it had all come about. Darcy imagined a world in which he had never stayed at Netherfield with Bingley. There were so many things that had to occur for them to meet and for him to have the time with Elizabeth that he needed to know his heart. How was it that although he traveled the country, she was always there? How was it that he had gone to Hertfordshire, Kent and Derbyshire to find that each time she had proceeded him?

The idea of living in a world where it was only happenstance that these things had occurred, that with only a slight alteration, such as him not arriving to Pemberley to see her touring his estate which events had conspired to bring her to, that Elizabeth might now be married to someone else instead. The thought was abhorrent, a terrible wrong. It seemed to Darcy that he had been meant to marry Elizabeth, that it had been foreordained.

He felt a sudden certainty that how everything had come together to give him true humility and yet still grant him the deepest desire of his heart must be God's plan for their lives. God had joined them together even before they married. But if it was, Darcy was beholden to God and he did not like being beholden to anyone.

Darcy knew to the depths of his soul that he did not deserve Elizabeth's love, to be her beloved. He knew that he did not deserve to be so happy. He reflected on the fact that he had been given much and much was expected of him.

Then another unbidden thought rose up in his mind: while it seemed overwhelming to him, the suffering that he had in Elizabeth's initial rejection of him, was only a taste of how God must feel when his children turned their backs on Him. And while he had fully deserved her actions, Jesus had died while blameless as a sacrifice for those that rejected Him to save them though they deserved it not. How many times had he himself turned his back on God and done what he wished instead?

The Darcy whose arms Elizabeth awoke in was a new creation. Although he tried and sometimes even believed before that he had given himself over to God he had always kept God at a manageable distance; in wrestling with God throughout the night he had finally handed his life over to Him. When Darcy told Elizabeth all about it, Elizabeth rejoiced with him and told him how she, too, had seen God's hand in everything and wondered how she was worthy of all that had been given to her though she deserved it not.

Elizabeth revealed how she, too, had been humbled and did not understand how she had been blessed with the life she had now been given. She expressed her amazement that God would love her so well as to give her an opportunity to gain her heart's desire and marry for the deepest love. She explained how she had also had been a selfish being, unwilling risk her life to sacrifice for her family's welfare as Esther had done, either by marrying her cousin or by marrying him when she did not love him, though she knew that if she and her sisters remained unmarried that destruction might indeed befall them all. And yet now she was married to the one who her soul loveth.

She quietly murmured then, her hands clasped together as if in prayer, though her eyes were open, "Lord, in seeing all you have done for my husband, please forgive my sins and let me be yours likewise." Darcy did not know quite what his wife experienced then, but she started to cry and then said, "He has claimed me as his daughter."

Darcy's epiphany and decision to fully trust in God did not mean that Darcy became a perfect person, husband or later father. Although he strove to honor his wife, be understanding and treat her as an equal partner, he still struggled as all do. Sometimes he was too quick to anger, sometimes he criticized his wife though she had done nothing wrong, sometimes he was selfish with his time. Yet he was quicker to admit how he had failed and to ask for forgiveness. Elizabeth, too, was far kinder than he deserved, more forgiving. And when he asked her why, she told him that she knew that when he failed she needed to forgive him as Christ had forgiven her. He rejoiced that they were truly devoted to one another in love and had been loved so well by God.


End file.
